In connection to my previous post about letting go, I think
that one of the ways that we can let go is to forgive. I have written so much
about forgiveness, because I believe, based on my personal experience, that
unless we forgive, we lose too much.
But forgiving is easier said than done. It would take a
great soul to forgive someone easily. And to instantly forgive is what only
extraordinary people can do. We “normal human beings” would take an entire
process to finally give our forgiveness to those who wronged us.
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I am not a saint nor do I pretend to be one. I have my days.
Even though I said that I have already forgiven them who wronged me, there are
still times that I react to something they do or say. It is easier to forgive someone who just broke
your heart. It is easier to forgive someone who accused you of so many things.
But is forgiving easy to someone who molested you or someone who nearly raped you?
Can we just choose whom we should only forgive? Does our
forgiveness rely on the weight of how much we got hurt by an act? When do we
start to forgive?
I have read so many stories about forgiveness, the latest
was about one Iranian mother who forgave her son’s killer by stopping the
public execution. She went over to the man, slapped him and released the noose
that was already on his neck. Such a wonderful act of forgiveness!
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During the recollection that I attended, the second day was
all about reconciliation or forgiveness.
I was able to reflect on how much I was fearing because I wasn’t
forgiving. I realized that I was already choking. Blessings and love wasn’t
flowing through me because I was being choked by my past hurts, negative
emotions , rejections and failures.
Oftentimes, I mask all these emotions with work. I drown
myself with work, in the hopes of not being able to feel, to be numb.
Forgiveness is a process. Since we are but human, I believe
that we need to go through a processing of emotions before we could fully
forgive. On the other hand, there is also a system of forgiveness. Here ‘s what
I learned about the system of forgiveness (in the words of Bro. Mike Vinas):
- -Forgiveness is as essential as breathing. As fast as they offend you, you have to let it
go. ( I guess this is where I fail at.)
- - Anger must have an expiration date. In Ephesians
4:26 it says something like do not let the sun go down on your anger. On the
lighter side, you have until 5:59 to get angry at someone. Too bad if the sun
go down earlier than that. J
- -Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
- - Forgiveness is for your freedom and future.
“In every relationship, we would always be constantly called
on to ask for forgiveness and to forgive.”- Bro. Arun Gogna
We cannot really escape having to forgive someone. By living, it means having relationships of
all sorts. And when we enter into a relationship with someone, we give that
person the ability to hurt us.
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"The moment we love, we give the person the power
to hurt us." - Fr. Dave Concepcion
I still am a work in progress. I still have a long way to
go. But I cannot say that I will stop loving because I can’t forgive. In fact,
my love tank’s starting to fill now. And with this, I am hopeful to be able to
forgive.
Something to ponder on:
Who am I to be so unforgiving, when I myself am a sinner?
Keep the faith,
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