Miña La Luz.
Am I in love with you?
Maybe.
Maybe not. I don’t know.
I have always been in love with the idea of love, but I am undecided
whether I should fall in love right now.
Because right now may not be the perfect time. “Right now” is complicated.
I wish it’s easy to un-complicate things.
The things you do to me, they confuse me. And frighten me. But at the same time, it lifts me up from the pit I
am in. And puts me high up on a pedestal.
I am scared, of opening my heart again to love. Because the
road to love is like a maze that I have to overcome. I may get lost and never
find the way to your heart.
Ever.
I wish I could un-love you. But I can’t.
Because I don’t choose whom my heart should beat for. I don’t
know how it does.
The heart dictates whom
it should dance for. It beats to the one whose music is an explosion of ecstasy
in our chest.
You would always be my obsession.
From the moment I wake up in the morning, until at night before slumber, I think of you.
You would always be that someone who would fill every corner
of my mind.
You conquered every space of my heart.
You would always be that someone whose face I see everywhere.
Your perfume is nostalgia , it triggers
the deepest longings and memories in my heart.
What is this uncontrollable wave of emotions stirring in my
bosom?
The more I suppress it, the more it wants to be known. Never
wanting to be an unrequited love anymore.
Miña La Luz.
My angel of light.
You shone on me when the road led nowhere but to a dark
alley. You led me to shine and overcome the darkness of my soul, illuminating the
path with your own light.
The thought of you sends a pain of longing, a deep regret
washing over me.
Because you will never be mine. How I wish you could be.
You are so near yet so far, so present yet so elusive.
It’s a tragedy.
But all love story is a tragedy. I wonder how it would feel
to be wrapped in your arms. I dreamed of your kiss. Would it melt away all my
inhibitions. Would I be free?
I am still afraid, frightened for love to wither before it has
the chance to grow. But I'm putting my heart on my sleeves , I'm gambling once more. I'm
throwing the dice and let the gods decide.
I’m taking a chance at love again, because the happiness of
loving you surpasses the fear of not being loved by you.
Keep the faith,
Mei
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