It's the last month of the year and in a couple of weeks, we're officially saying hello to a new year. This is my favorite time of the year to write , especially in this space, my space, where I can write freely without hesitations and without fear of judgement. My space, my rules.
So many things had happened this year. There were meetings with old friends and flames, knowing a lot of deeper things about people in my circle and knowing who I am. But the best thing that ever happened to me this year, was being fired from a job that has been my bread and butter for the past three years. No explanation, no nothing, just flat blank told that my service wasn't in alignment to where the team was headed in the next months.
Was I hurt?Yes, I was and in all honesty, I was in a state of self-pity. I cried some tears mostly because of the betrayal I felt. Had I not given enough service to be deserve an explanation? I am just thankful that I had someone who shook me out of my self-pity and injected words of encouragement into my brain to the extent that I cried feeling like a little girl being scolded by a parent.
Be thankful to the one who fired you.
But then as I reflected back on what happened, I realized that it was indeed the Universe's way of taking me out of my comfort zone, getting me all prepped up for greater things to come in to my life. I realized that working for that company, I was limiting myself into that character of me, the $3 V.A.
That was my worth. She somehow put a price on my head every time she talks about how she got VAs from the Philippines for $3 an hour.
At first, it didn't really made me react negatively to it. Heck, I was even flattered to have been mentioned in her podcasts. I didn't take it personally because I thought since she was a financial coach, she was kind of flexing how she was able to save money for her business by outsourcing to cheaper workforce from other countries like the Philippines.
She broke some promises, like sending me to an online business writing school. But I didn't really thought much about that because I realized that if I wanted to improve, it would have to start with my own initiative and not rely on others for training.
As I was on my journey to learning about self-worth, I had a sudden mind shift and that included how I see the value of the kind of service that I do to people. I started to feel offended every time I would hear her podcasts that mention anything about $3 VA. Subconsciously, I was resenting her more and more each day. I had wanted to ask for a raise, but I was also hindered by the thought that I don't have anything else to offer more, so I stick with that rate.
Maybe because I was harboring that resentment in my heart and in my mind, I was unconsciously manifesting it. I wasn't aware but maybe they could sense that I wasn't really very much interested in what I was doing anymore because everytime I start to work, the label ($3 VA) would always come to my mind and I would be sick to my stomach.
So, after I lost my job, I was back at the drawing board and in a matter of days I found a new one, because I know what I was offering, Losing a job helped me know more about my strengths and the value that I provide other people.
I was able to raise my worth 5x what I was earning. I realized that even though I resented that "$3 VA" label, I was subconsciously embracing it. I was limited into that thought that I was indeed worth $3. Not that I am degrading others who are earning that much but because I have been in this industry more than enough to be an expert in what I do. And I realized that I can be an authority in this specific industry that I am in.
The best advice I got this year was "Stop playing small." This came from the same person who shook me to my core with a combination of encouraging words, some tough ones and made me see that I was always trying to put myself in the corner.
I never realized that but maybe it was because I wanted always to choose peace , and avoid arguments or confrontations, that I just wanted to shut my mouth. I forgot that I once used to be an Alpha female. I have forgotten that once upon a time, when most of my peers were still enjoying their college days, I was already hustling and climbing the corporate ladder in another country.
I have forgotten my power. I let my crown slip.
It is time to put on the crown back on my head. I am better, fiercer, way more powerful than I was a year ago. I am thankful for being fired because it has inspired me to take the road that I was less likely to take on. I was able to move out of my comfort zone.
Now as the new year looms just beyond the horizon, I am ready to take on more clients, grow my business and help more people. I will forever be grateful to the people who helped me make the transition. And if it also means that I have to be thankful to the one who fired me, then I am.
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